I can read over your essay, that is not a problem.  I am saying I will not write it.  I said I wont do your homework because your questions sound suspiciously as if they are derived from a homework assignment.  Two things about that.  1. Knowledge you get from your own research will stay with you far longer than any answers I give and 2. I will not help someone cheat, I intend on being a college professor myself and to my mind cheating is grounds for failing a course outright, not just an assignment.  As I said, I am more than happy to answer questions. ;D

Eddy, Here are my corrections and comments on your essay.  I was fairly critical because I dont think you backed up your assertions very well.  It is written fairly well, but the conclusions leave something to be desired, in my opinion.  Grammar corrections are in blue and comments are in red.  The only significant grammar correction I made was to replace the term death count with casualties.  Death count is not the proper term to use when speaking of war dead.  I hope this helps and I was not trying to be overly critical.Hello this is my assignment. I have a feeling it is actually quite poor but please still give me pointers or maybe even a rating. So, when I come back again I can see if I improved or not. Please bear in mind that I am only 14. Actually age doesn't mean a thing in History. Criticize as you like. Also I have deliberately agreed with all my questions I had, so please don't say that one of my paragraphs is wrong because of that. Without further ado.                                                                                                                                           Sappers played a key role in WWI by helping the British army reach certain destinations and destroy enemy fortifications. Without them the Army would have failed to win key battles thus creating a different outcome for the war. Sapper is a slang term for Royal Engineer Actually, I believe Sapper is one of the officially recognized terms for the Royal Engineers.; Royal Engineers had many different roles during both Wars. Examples of different roles This made them a good unit to have as they could do many more things than the average soldier could. I would probably  expand here and state what some of the additional capabilities the engineers had were      The First World War relied heavily on engineeringfor what?. There would have been no communication between the Army because the Royal Engineers maintained the telephones and other signaling equipmentAre you sure about this?  What role did the Royal signal corps have then?. There would have been no areas for the soldiers to take cover or the artillery to be put, because the Royal Engineers designed and built the entire defensive fortifications on the front line.This is incorrect, engineers designed the trench system but line soldiers generally dug them.  There were not enough engineers to dig trenches, they were normally reserved for specialist construction.  Every infantry soldier had a shovel and they used them. It ended up in the hands of the Royal Engineers to build defense for the Army against ChemicalI believe that the Royal Army instituted a separate chemical corps during the war, but I could be mistaken. and Underground warfareThere were specialist mining companies created during the war that were usually composed of drafts of experienced miners from civilian life. Without engineers no supplies would have been able to be given to the Army because the Royal Engineers maintained the roads, airfields, bridges, water supplies and transport needs. Finally, without the Royal Engineers the infantry and artillery would have soon been useless, as they maintained the guns and other weapons that they used.False, Weapon maintenance fell to the end-user.  Maintenance they could not perform was done by ordnance troops of the Ordnance Corps. The following quote proves my point. ?Without the Infrastructure the Royal Engineers built the British army would have struggled to take key military positions and win many main battles.?Where is this quote from, You should cite your sources either in-text or with footnotes/endnotes. I dont know if your teacher wants you to cite or not though it is standard practice in history works to cite sources. This quote proves my point as the infrastructure the Royal Engineers built was vital for victory and the easy running of the Army, if they had not built these the army would fail to communicate, transport, and run. This in turn shows that the Royal Engineers were an important factor in winning the War.                                                                                        Key battles that the British won relied heavily on the work of the Royal Engineers. The Royal Engineers presence on the battlefield gave the British a better chance of victory.  If they had not done their jobs the British troops would have struggled to reach enemy trenches or defend themselves in their own trenches. If the Royal Engineers had not tunneled and destroyed the enemy trenches the British would have failed to take their position and this could have led to them losing more men trying to take the trenches which could have changed the outcome of the battle or battles. This is proven in the following quote. ?Royal engineers were like the last piece of the puzzle without them you would fail to finish it.? Again citation and what was the context in which this quote appeared?  I don?t really see how the quote proves anything beyond the author?s opinion.  It is a statement of opinion and not a statement of fact.This quote proves my point as it shows that Royal Engineers were vital to the British for winning battles and ultimately the War.Without the key defensive structures the Royal Engineers built British casualties would have been far greater than what it was. If the Royal Engineers had not built the trenches, buildings and dirt mounds for artillery the death toll would have been higher. This is because the trenches they dug allowed cover for the British soldiers but at the same time also allowed them to attack.See above comment about who actually dug the trenches The dirt mounds they built for artillery, helped cover the artillery and meant that they didn?t have to be in the open or a far distance back.  This next quote proves my point ?For if the British troops had not received the defensive structures the Royal Engineers I have no doubt that the death toll that the British sustained would have been far greater without them.?Again statement of opinion and not fact thus proving nothing. This quote proves my point as it states that without the defensive fortifications the Royal Engineers built the number of British casualties would have increased greatly.In conclusion the Royal Engineers as a unit played a key role for the British in winning the war because of the infrastructure they built, the defensive fortifications they made and the skills they used to destroy enemy trenches and positions.You did not point out which particular skills they had and used to destroy trenches.Where is the thesis?  I assume it is that the Sappers as an organization played a key role in allowing the BEF to attain victory in WWI?

I try.

Well three things. Firstly, we don't need a thesis. Secondly, did you mark this as you would have marked a college assignment? Thirdly, the principal has decided to make History a subject now. How good is that? Just wondering, since my school is doing history now can I come here for help. It is a pity the principal didn't make this decision last term I would have been able to use your editing work. Thanks.

First,  Every paper needs a thesis, otherwise why are you writing.  A thesis is simply the point you are trying to make with a particular essay.  That applies whether it is a historical paper or any other piece of writing.  Writing without a point is like kissing your sister, why do it in the first place?Second,  I marked it up not as I would any particular piece but to point out what i saw as errors and comment on how they could be fixed.  I have a thirteen-year old son and I do the same thing to his schoolwork and he probably dislikes it too.  As a matter of fact, I know he dislikes it now, but he will thank me in the future when he enters the real world and gets out of school.  In life, there is only pass or fail and good writing is one of the keys to success, both academically and professionally.Three,    I think it is great that your school will be offering history in the future and I and other posters on this board will always try to be helpful.  hopefully we can bring you to enjoy history as much as we do.   I hope to see you around the boards again soon.